I don't remember where I heard this this weekend - probably from a young widow with young kids, a job, a house, yard, car to maintain, finances to manage and more .... but I immediately thought "yes!" We are superheroes. We've all been drop kicked, we've survived and, for the most part we're thriving. How is this possible? There are lots of reasons, but a big one is community! Camp Widow is community on steroids!
Today was all about thriving!! Some highlights:
Breakfast - I haven't laughed so hard talking about things I can't imagine talking about with anyone - and with people I'd never met before this weekend - and early in the morning - but we did have coffee.
Keynote - You're now writing a new volume of your life story. What do you want in it? Develop your character!
If we guard our hearts too closely, the gates will keep out the people who can sustain us.
Grief is in the background of every single day. Some days it's loud, some days quieter, but it's always there. No wonder some days we're tired.
On relationships - you can't bring someone into something you know nothing about. We need to discover who we are after loss.
Live the List!
And after all of that emotional stuff and the damp tissues stuffed in my purse - we were entertained by Kelley Lynn - a wonderful comic from NYC who is part of this community. Nothing was sacred - panic attacks, dumb things people say to a griever, changing the account holder on a cell phone account ("but I need to talk to the account holder". "I'd like to talk to him too, but he's DEAD!"), widow brain, the "fuck it" meditation..... I laughed till my sides hurt - I wonder if that counts as a workout?
Between the laughter and the tears, it was a very bad mascara day. Perhaps next time, there could be waterproof mascara in the swag bags?
And then there was the evening. We clean up real good!! A great banquet, more moving moments (I got a red, heart shaped rock and hugs to commemorate Brian's Sept birthday and mine) followed by a freaking dance!! I haven't danced in years, and I'm not sure I've ever danced like THAT!! Inhibitions be damned!
I'm going to the next Camp Widow in March in Tampa to have this rockin' good time all over again. Why not? It will be winter in Sask.
New friends
Life is good - and painful - and an adventure - and confusing - and bizarre. And did I mention, good? Maybe even great.
I know we would all trade this weekend in a heartbeat to have our love back, but since that isn't going to happen, I'm going to figure out the plot line for the next volume, develop my character and start writing.
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